Oh…the drama….

I’ve never considered myself the most agile person.  I get around well enough and am careful not to trip down any stairs or anything like that.

But man, does pregnancy change that!  Seriously.  And in the third trimester, the simplest things will push me to the brink of tears.  Read on, as I explain.

• Dropping a pen/change/anything on the floor.  Really?  REALLY!?!  Because my knees don’t already hurt just by standing alone?  Now I have to bend over and reach for dropped object?  You know, bending over a basketball sized belly, that pushes all the air out of your lungs and presses your stomach up into your chest cavity…yeah, that’s comfortable.  I dropped my pen the other day (because pregnancy also has given me a wonderful case of carpal tunnel) and I swear I almost cried.  I literally whined to my co-worker next to me “Frances, can you heeeeeeeeeeelp me?” and I sighed with relief as she crawled under my desk to pick up my pen. 
• Broken finger nails.  What happened to the first trimester glow where my hair was shiny and my nails were healthy and strong?  Last night I was trying to get into a pair of maternity pants, and I practically ripped my entire nail off of my thumb trying to yank those suckers up.  WTH!  Okay – so maybe part of the problem was that I was trying to squeeze my swelling belly (and bootie) into a pair of pants that may have been a little too small.  But really?  Breaking your nails while getting dressed?  Not cool.
• Where are my feet?  And speaking of getting dressed – c’mon, there has to be an easier way.  I LOVED being pregnant during the height of summer and fall when the temps were perfect and I sashayed in my flirty maternity/maxi dresses and walked around in matching flip flops.  But getting dressed in winter and having to stuff my feet into shoes (that apparently have shrunk since last winter!) is not cool.  For one thing, bending over to even get my shoes on…..just how can I do that when I can barely see my feet?  Secondly, the swelling…yikes!  Man, my cute slouchy knee high boots….key word SLOUCHY, seeing them stretched out against my calves?  What the heck happened?!  They’re supposed to be slouchy boots, not compression socks.  Thirdly, getting shoes OFF.  After a full day of work, with water retention and more swelling – it’s even harder for me to get the shoes off than to get them on.  Geez!  Best thing about it is Daddy is always willing to help…so I kind of have my own personal dresser.  Sweet!